Adventures as Miss Saigon

What?? I’m allowed to be a mess!

Posted on: April 25, 2011

This is a time of serious reminiscing and reflection for me…I can’t believe how much has changed in the past 7.5 months (8 by the time I step foot in Canada again).

Back in September, the night before my early morning flight out of Toronto, I was an emotional mess. I stood in the shower at my mom’s house (where I had been staying for the 2 weeks prior to leaving) crying and crying and crying…for the first time, unable to cry this much in front of my mom. I didn’t want to upset her any more than she already was, and I didn’t want to show her or the rest of my family how scared I was.

Now, the next 2 weeks of my life will be a blur…I’ve had the start of some very difficult goodbyes to say today. Tomorrow evening I fly to Australia and return back to Vietnam on May 8th for 36 hours before beginning my journey home to Canada the morning of May 10th. One minute, I’m so excited to be coming home, the next minute, I’m so sad to be leaving Vietnam. I can’t wait to see my family, friends and puppy…I’m devastated to be leaving J and my wonderful girlfriends here.

I’m struggling. I don’t want this to end. But I want to go home. I’m scared. I’m excited. I’m sad. I’m happy. I’m confused. I’m confident. I’m smiling. I’m crying. I’m up. I’m down. I’m anxious. I’m calm. I’m filled with so many conflicting emotions, all at the exact same time.

I’m a mess. An emotional mess.

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