Adventures as Miss Saigon

Reflections

Posted on: January 23, 2011

Almost 4 and a half months…that’s how long I’ve been living in this country now. I feel settled and comfortable, enjoying the truly Asian experiences and the Western comforts. I’ve spent some time this morning going back through my blog postings, and examining my journey so far. I’ve come a long way, baby. Examining this journey in writing is proving to be more difficult than I had anticipated, but I feel like I need to get my thoughts out into the open.

I left Canada with specific, personal goals that I wanted to accomplish. I showed up in Vietnam scared, wide eyed, and unsure of the decision I had made to come here. I’ve questioned my decision to come here many times. I had a rough beginning, but four months in, I feel confident and excited with who I’m becoming and the experiences that are shaping me.

From the other side of the world, it’s been easier for me to evaluate my life, what I want from it and how I’m willing to achieve things. I’ve been able to focus on me with minimal other distractions and complications.

I am okay being me. I am comfortable in my skin and in my current situation. Sure, I still have dreams and aspirations, but I’m happy. I feel whole, and I’ve achieved this on my own, not having to rely on someone else to “complete me”. My views on relationships have changed and I’m seeing things in a whole new light. I want to meet Mr Right, but will not settle for anything – I don’t have the energy to put into a crappy, consuming relationship. I want a relationship based on equal partnership, laughter, adventure and love. Does it exist? I hope so… I’m hesitant to post any more of my updated views, as I don’t want to come off preachy…clearly it’s much easier to examine situations from a distance, but I feel really confident in my assessments. If anyone wants to have this discussion, I’m easily contacted.

One of my biggest fears is letting this great year of experiences and adventure dominate my life. I need to find a way to continue my adventures at home when I return, so in five years time, I won’t be saying “this one time when I was living in Vietnam…” I haven’t decided how I’m going to be able to do this, but I don’t want to settle back into my old habits and have this year be that one highlight of my life.

I’ve changed in these first four months, and will no doubt change in the months to come. I’ve grown stronger as a person, been humbled time after time, and have lived a life that no one will truly understand unless they’ve experienced it themselves. This is a tricky, as I don’t know if my friends and family at home will be ready to accept that I’ve changed or if they will just expect to see “old Meg” back on Canadian grounds. I feel like, in certain ways, my life is on hold for this year. Although my passport clearly indicates I’ve been on the move, I feel like I’ll have a lot of catching up to do when I come home. In the year that I’m gone, I’m missing friends weddings, babies being born and so many other amazing life milestones. Reverse culture shock could be my worst enemy…and it scares me to think that home may not feel like home.

The bottom line is that I would not trade this experience for anything. I cannot picture myself anywhere else at this stage in my life, and am so thankful for the opportunities that I’ve been given. Although returning home might be a difficult transition, it’s what I want and I’ll make it happen…it just might look a bit different than what I left (a new apartment? a new city? going back to school?)…who knows!

As a side note, Wendy and I might write a book…we’ve had some amazing life conversations, and I’m pretty sure we’ll be able to solve all of the worlds problems by the time I’m done in Vietnam. We’ve already agreed on a book title too…”Eat, Pray and Eat Some More”. Any takers? 😉

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2 Responses to "Reflections"

Sounds like a great experience Megan! I’m sure the new and improved you is just as fabulous as the Megs we know and love 🙂

thanks lady! we need a skype date soon 🙂

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